Slow News Day Keeps Brown in the Spotlight

Phil Brown has become an expert storyteller and fashion consultant

There’s little to discuss today. Unfortunately that means that Phil Brown’s raving lunacy remains front and center. I’m not sure I understand the thesis of his ranting due to the fact that it is filled with inconsistencies and unintentional humor. Let’s just say that Brown and O.J. Simpson have similar ideas about the truth.

Here’s what we know for certain now that Phil has cleared things up for us.

  1. Cesc Fabregas spit on Brian Horton
  2. Cesc Fabregas spit at the feet of Brian Horton
  3. Cesc Fabregas spit at the feet of Brian Horton on the pitch
  4. Cesc Fabregas spit at the feet of Brian Horton in the tunnel
  5. Phil Brown witnessed Cesc Fabregas spit at the feet of Brian Horton in the tunnel
  6. Phil Brown was told that Cesc Fabregas spit at the feet of Brian Horton in the tunnel
  7. Phil Brown is not a fan of casual attire

But the most important thing Phil Brown told us today after complaining about the referee, the linesman, the supporters, Arsene Wenger and Cesc Fabregas’ attire, is that he is “not one for crying over spilt milk.”

Obviously.

There’s really not much to say about this beyond expressing my condolences to the people of Hull and the players at Hull City. Their team were a wonderful story this season. They surprised almost everyone in football with their accomplishments. Now they have become a sad sideshow. Subordinated to the inflated ego of their manager and denied the attention they so richly deserve for their performances. In the United States, if a manager brought the players from an underdog team onto the field and berated them in front of a full stadium during a period of unprecedented success, he would be lucky to leave the premises in one piece. What a charming bastard this Phil Brown has turned out to be.

And the funniest part of the story, is that he doesn’t realize that he will be the one to look bad in the end. He genuinely believes that Wenger, Fabregas, and even Arsenal Football Club will be the ones to suffer the scorn and derision of the public and the media. Phil Brown must understand that society loves a winner. The charming underdog gets a some attention as long as they remain charming, but then their five minutes are over. When it’s all said and done, the giant clubs are made of teflon and there’s really nothing he can do to damage the reputation of the most upstanding football club in England. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. But not at all.

On a lighter note, Arsenal have one less team to worry about challenging for league titles for another few years. That loathesome spanish waiter, Rafa Benitez, signed a new deal that keeps him at Anfield until 2014. This ensures that it will continue to be United, Chelsea and Arsenal that contend for the domestic top honors.

There don’t appear to be any injury updates or team news floating around just at the moment. So that means you can put all of your time today into praying to your deity of choice that Hull City are relegated at season’s end.

Til tomorrow.

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About Yankee Gunner

Loyal Arsenal Supporter, Obscure Television Personality
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